Rules of Country Lane Driving.

Wales is full of old lanes that many of us rely on for normal day to day things, such as popping to the shop, the school run, or just getting out of the village. Occasionally, we meet other motorist who lose the ability to think or drive when they meet oncoming traffic! We found this set of rules that can easily be applied to many of the lanes in wales, Or even too Caerleons famous lane, ‘Pillmawr Road’. AKA The Lane of Doom. (Video Below)

The Rules:

  1. If you come round a blind bend at 60mph and manage to stop two millimetres from my bumper, do not throw your arms in the air and raise your eyes heavenwards at my unreasonable behaviour in not driving through the hedge to allow you to continue unimpeded. There is no rule that states that the right of way rests with the fastest driver. And 60 is a limit, not a target.
  2. Do not enter the lanes until you know how wide your car is. This will avoid you sitting in the narrowest part of the road, waving your arms and ranting because your wing mirror is now a part of the bodywork of my car.
  3. People live in the villages. They have houses. The houses have driveways. In order to leave their houses people will have to pull out on to the road. If you have disregarded Rule 1 and are driving at the aforementioned 60mph, it is inevitable that you will have to brake as no one has yet invented a car that can do nought to 60 in half a second.
  4. If we encounter one another when your back wheels are a foot away from a passing place, do not sit there drumming your fingers on the steering wheel and waiting for me to reverse up a hill, round two bends and several hundred yards down the road. And under no circumstances make a little shooing gesture at me.
  5. When I pull in to let you pass, do not then glare at me and shake your head disapprovingly at my temerity in daring to make use of a road which clearly should be reserved for your exclusive driving pleasure. This is highly unlikely to get me on board with your need to get to work quickly.
  6. If you manage to abide by Rule 5, you may also want to think about making some gesture of thanks so that I can stop trying to explain the concept of sarcasm to my two year-old who keeps asking why I say “you’re welcome” so often.
  7. Really small roads are still roads. Do not stop right in the middle to have a wee.
  8. If the tractor is behind me, you are not going to win the “who gets to reverse” argument. I am not even sure our local tractor has a reverse gear.
  9. If you have the misfortune to encounter me just as you come alongside the really muddy passing place, you have two choices: get your wheels wet or reverse all the way to the next passing place. Do not even think about trying to indicate that you think I should be pulling on to the wrong side of the road and into the mud so that you can keep your shiny little sports car shiny. It won’t be happening.
  10. On the rare occasions that I manage to time my return journey so that I am actually going with the flow of traffic, do not drive six inches from my back bumper.

So that’s the plea. Abide by these ten simple rules and the lanes will be a happier place.

And now for my message.

Unless I am close to a passing place, I am no longer reversing. At all. I have done my fair share of backing up and I am done with it. You turn if you want to. The lady’s not for turning. Just give it up and reverse.


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