Old School Horsemanship V’s New School Horsemanship

Old School Horsemanship

  • If horse is too fat…… feed it less
  • If horse is too skinny ………….. feed it more
  • If horse looks good………. feed it the same
  • If the saddle doesn’t fit….. try a different one
  • If the saddle fits ……….. use it
  • If horse is sick……. Ring the vet
  • If horse is well…… leave it alone and don’t go looking for trouble
  • If horse is too cold …….. add a rug
  • If horse is too warm …….. take off a rug
  • If the horse is sweating and warm….. clip it
  • If horse isn’t sweating and doing little work….. don’t clip it
  • Horse needs to be shod…… shoe the horse
  • Horse doesn’t need to be shod….. leave it until it does need it.
  • Horses ears are forward ….. it suspects you have treats or it likes you
  • Horses ears are back and teeth bared……. It doesn’t like you, it’s a narky sod or its going to eat you.

New School Horsemanship

  • If horse is too fat…… either convince yourself that round is a shape and ignore all suggestions that horse is fat (he is just big boned!) or panic and try to starve horse in four weeks while spending a fortune on horse nutritionist to help you do so.
  • If horse is too skinny ………….. Panic buy every weight gaining supplement on the planet. Put horse on expensive diet recommended by an internet randomer. Expect results in 2-3 weeks time.
  • If horse looks good………. fret and worry every five minutes that it might not be or stay the perfect size, buy endless supplements to keep it exactly how it is.
  • If the saddle doesn’t fit….. pay someone a fortune to come out and tell you that you need a custom made €3000 saddle that they will provide you with so that they can then charge you for fixing it every few months too. Constantly fret about muscle wastage and ill-fitting saddles
  • If the saddle fits ……….. get someone to check it just in case. Pay them a fortune to come out and tell you that you need a custom made €3000 saddle that they will provide you with so that they can then charge you for fixing it every few months too. Constantly fret about muscle wastage and ill-fitting saddles
  • If horse is sick……. Panic, ask advice of randomers on the internet, panic again, watch horse get worse, eventually call the vet, second guess vets opinion, ask internet randomers again, eventually follow vets advice.
  • If horse is well…… look endlessly for things that might be wrong and spend a fortune trying to find out what they are
  • If horse is too cold …….. fret and worry about how many rugs the horse should be wearing, what weights they should be and who is going to take them on and off every few hours because the temperature went up or down a degree.
  • If horse is too warm …….. fret and worry about how many rugs the horse should be wearing, what weights they should be and who is going to take them on and off every few hours because the temperature went up or down a degree.
  • If the horse is sweating and warm….. over analyse for days on what type and shape of clip to give the horse because how on earth will you make sure he is not too warm or not too cold and now after clipping how on earth will you know what rugs to put on him!?
  • If horse isn’t sweating and doing little work….. but he will look nice clipped won’t he?
  • Horse needs to be shod…… what type of shoes? How often will everyone else’s horse get shod? Ask advice of randomers on the internet
  • Horse doesn’t need to be shod….. panic about whether it needs to be shod
  • Horses ears are forward ….. the horse loves you dearly and has a deep Bella and Edward twilight-esque relationship with you that is rare and wonderful
  • Horses ears are back and teeth bared……. Horses aura has changed color and he is trying to convey an important message…. and he might eat you

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